Bubbles?

I'm now at 25 weeks. When she moves, it feels like bubbles!

We had an ultrasound last week (24 weeks), since Grayson is a little difficult when it comes to showing everything she needs to show. We still haven't gotten a good look at her spine, so we need to go back at 28 weeks to check again. One of the few measurements I can compare from her 20 week ultrasound and her 24 week is her femur. At 20 3/7 weeks, her femur measured 34.0 mm, which is the measurement for 20 5/7 weeks. She was a little ahead of the average then (2 days). At 24 1/7 weeks, her femur measured 46.2 mm, which is the measurement for 25 2/7 weeks. She's a whole 8 days ahead now! I don't know why this amuses me so much.

Why the link on the side is to a webcomic

I started this blog after reading the webcomic How Baby. A particular post really hit home. On #146, entitled "Hers," the author, Lindsay, states:

And then here I was: the ex-riot grrl with the dyed hair and the facial piercings; the one who drew fan art; the one everyone thought would end up with a wife, not a husband; she who proudly proclaimed her choice to be childfree. There wasn’t a space for me. I wasn’t like my mom, and I wasn’t like Internet Mom. So I started drawing How Baby, and I tried to be me, but a version of me that was mom, too.

 This hit home so hard.

I've been vocally childfree for over a decade. I even started a Childfree group on Facebook (which I will likely continue to admin because, honestly, my sense of humor is warped and that is not going to change). Honestly, I nearly got my tubes tied about 10 years ago because I was so sure I never wanted to have kids. If I had done that, I would still be happy with my choice and my life.

I know I'm nothing like my mom was. My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I was in school. She made cookies, and cried if they were burnt (my dad would eat them anyway). I never had a baby-sitter, I always had someone in the family who could watch me for a few hours. My mom shopped Avon, and always looked so put-together. She was beautiful and classy. She also passed away when I was nine, which, admittedly, make my view of her "more perfect" than it probably was. But I never saw the flaws. I never fought with her as a teenager. She didn't have to put up with my very rebellious late-teens/early-20s. She remains this perfect Mom.

I am nowhere near perfect.

Like Lindsay, I usually have dyed hair (pink for me). I have facial piercings. I have tattoos. I used to referee roller derby. I don't fit the typical "mom" mold. I'm never going to fit that mold.

But, as long as my child is safe, happy, and healthy, that's all that I need to do. I don't need to be the Perfect Pinterest Mom.

I am not 6 months... oh wait...

Last week or so, I took a bathroom selfie. I really love the dress I was in, but it made me look very pregnant. My girlfriend commented that "you are like 6 months."

I am not!

She sent me an image that shows that 6 months is weeks 22-26. I was at 22 weeks at that point.

Well.... fine. I guess I am 6 months pregnant. Time flies when you're 3D printing a human. 3 months or so until she is actually here. The house is nowhere near ready, honestly. We finally sorted through most of the 0-5T clothes that my boyfriend's cousins gave us. They are sorted, labelled, in bins, and in a good spot to be stored. Just got to keep organizing and such. Our 24 week ultrasound and check up is in a little over a week. Baby Shower 1 is in a month and a half. Baby Shower 2 is in two months (one for my family in New England and one local).

I guess we'll figure it out as we go along.

"Heartbeat" bills

PA Lawmakers Introduce Heartbeat Bill 

"'Since a heartbeat denotes the end of life, obviously, logically, scientifically, it denotes, clearly, the beginning of life. So anytime there’s a heartbeat up until death, that baby needs to be left alone," Mastriano said."

That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. Firstly, a heartbeat does not equal life. Brainwaves equal life. 

Secondly, when I saw Grayson's "heartbeat" at 8 weeks, she looked like a turtle amoeba. She looked nothing like a baby. The cells that were "beating" looked nothing like a heart. Everything was all over the place.

Can you see that? Can you see the turtle? Underneath the turtle/blob/amoeba is a bunch of cells. Some of those cells were flickering and pulsing. Those are the cells that become parts of the heart. 

I was 8 weeks pregnant when I got this ultrasound. 

That means that I was 8 weeks past my last period. 

That embryo is about 6 weeks along, because conception and last menstrual period are two different things. 

Some women conceive and miscarry without even knowing it. 

An embryo has the potential to become a living thing, but also has the potential to not become a living thing. 

I am now over 20 weeks along. I have the legal right to terminate this pregnancy up until week 24. We have not done all of our testing and measurements yet. We don't know if there is some hidden problem. We assume there is not. We assume she'll become a living thing. 

A "heartbeat" bill is ridiculous and violates the rights of women. Even calling it a "heartbeat" bill is manipulative. 

One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.