When to teach about Pride

I'm a librarian. I love finding diverse books. I've really been looking recently and starting to think about what sort of books I'm going to read to baby. After all, she's going to have two mommies, a daddy, and an uncle raising her. It's not exactly a conventional situation.

I ordered a bunch of books for my library recently. Among them were Pride Colors, a boardbook about the different colors on the pride flag, and Rainbow : a first book a pride, a picture book about the colors as well. As a librarian, I don't process (i.e., put labels on and enter books into the system) new books. Well, I processed those two. One of our library assistants handed them to me, stating that because of her faith, she didn't feel comfortable processing them. She feels that some things are for adults.

I'm blown away. This assistant is super sweet, very kind, and has no problems with either me (who is out as bi and poly at work!) or our gay coworker. But, then again, we're adults.

I guess there really is prejudice everywhere.

Plus Size Pregnancy

Being plus size and pregnant is weird. I've always been fat, and I carry much of my weight in my stomach and hips. Adding a baby to that means that yes, I have a bump, but to someone who doesn't know I'm pregnant, I just look fat. I'm used to wearing clothes that draw attention away from my belly, and all maternity clothes draw attention to that belly now that it's more socially acceptable as a baby bump, at least in theory.

I've been told for years that I have "child-bearing hips." That's all well and good, but do you have any idea what it's like in modern society with hips that belong to an 1800s Dutch milkmaid?

I'm used to being heavy. I'm used to checking the weight limit on ladders (I've fallen through a step-ladder). I know that the steering wheel in my car might touch my belly if I'm bloated or ate a big meal. I know that I can't drive a sports car comfortably. I'm used to being a little out of breath after climbing stairs. Adding being pregnant to all that is a whole different story...


It's weird when you have to go and get an ultrasound and the technician asks you to hold your belly up so she can get where she needs to get to see the baby.

It's weird when you are tracking your weight because of baby, and you know the baby is weighing in at about 3 lbs, but you've lost 6 lbs. Does that mean you've really lost 9? And if so, wow, this kid is consuming a lot of my calories, since I've been eating more than usual.

It's weird when you're used to "sucking in" your stomach normally (every day, no matter what), and now that hurts more than it should, because of baby. Then you freak out because what if you're squishing the baby? So you stop "sucking in" and your ab muscles feel so strange being relaxed.

It's annoying when you need to go shopping for maternity clothes, especially robes and nursing night gowns for the hospital and things say "one size fits all," which of course means up to size 16, which I have not been since high school.

It's frustrating when you see cute matching going home outfits for mom and baby and they only go up to XL for mom, which means a size 14.

It's frustrating when you go to the doctors and the chairs in the waiting room have arms that squish your hips so you can't even be comfortable waiting.

It's all cute when babies are chunky and have all the little fat rolls and are in bigger sizes than estimated. However, society clearly says it isn't cute for mom to be fat.

All I know is that I'm going to teach my daughter to tell society to mind their own business.

Mom Life

My own mom passed away in 1992, when I was 9. My grandma was the main "mom" type person in my daily life. My aunts took me to get my ears pierced and get my prom dresses. My best friend's mom gave me etiquette lessons, like what fork to use at a fancy dinner. My great-aunt tried to teach me how to cook. My girlfriend's mom has somewhat adopted me now and is going to be helping out with the baby.

I have no idea how to be a mom.

I have very few memories of baby and toddler times. I remember my mom being kind, warm, smart, and always on my side. Is that enough?

I am not 6 months... oh wait...

Last week or so, I took a bathroom selfie. I really love the dress I was in, but it made me look very pregnant. My girlfriend commented that "you are like 6 months."

I am not!

She sent me an image that shows that 6 months is weeks 22-26. I was at 22 weeks at that point.

Well.... fine. I guess I am 6 months pregnant. Time flies when you're 3D printing a human. 3 months or so until she is actually here. The house is nowhere near ready, honestly. We finally sorted through most of the 0-5T clothes that my boyfriend's cousins gave us. They are sorted, labelled, in bins, and in a good spot to be stored. Just got to keep organizing and such. Our 24 week ultrasound and check up is in a little over a week. Baby Shower 1 is in a month and a half. Baby Shower 2 is in two months (one for my family in New England and one local).

I guess we'll figure it out as we go along.