Why the link on the side is to a webcomic

I started this blog after reading the webcomic How Baby. A particular post really hit home. On #146, entitled "Hers," the author, Lindsay, states:

And then here I was: the ex-riot grrl with the dyed hair and the facial piercings; the one who drew fan art; the one everyone thought would end up with a wife, not a husband; she who proudly proclaimed her choice to be childfree. There wasn’t a space for me. I wasn’t like my mom, and I wasn’t like Internet Mom. So I started drawing How Baby, and I tried to be me, but a version of me that was mom, too.

 This hit home so hard.

I've been vocally childfree for over a decade. I even started a Childfree group on Facebook (which I will likely continue to admin because, honestly, my sense of humor is warped and that is not going to change). Honestly, I nearly got my tubes tied about 10 years ago because I was so sure I never wanted to have kids. If I had done that, I would still be happy with my choice and my life.

I know I'm nothing like my mom was. My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I was in school. She made cookies, and cried if they were burnt (my dad would eat them anyway). I never had a baby-sitter, I always had someone in the family who could watch me for a few hours. My mom shopped Avon, and always looked so put-together. She was beautiful and classy. She also passed away when I was nine, which, admittedly, make my view of her "more perfect" than it probably was. But I never saw the flaws. I never fought with her as a teenager. She didn't have to put up with my very rebellious late-teens/early-20s. She remains this perfect Mom.

I am nowhere near perfect.

Like Lindsay, I usually have dyed hair (pink for me). I have facial piercings. I have tattoos. I used to referee roller derby. I don't fit the typical "mom" mold. I'm never going to fit that mold.

But, as long as my child is safe, happy, and healthy, that's all that I need to do. I don't need to be the Perfect Pinterest Mom.